


A side to you that I never knew

by BabyDracky



Category: Arthurian Mythology, Merlin (TV)
Genre: Advent Calendar, Camlann, Gen, M/M, Male Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-05
Updated: 2012-07-05
Packaged: 2017-11-09 05:29:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/451877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabyDracky/pseuds/BabyDracky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur has never trust Magic but he trusted Merlin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A side to you that I never knew

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my mother tongue. Sorry.
> 
> Written for my 2011 Advent Calendar.  
> Written as a present for Utako04

There’s a side to you that I never knew, never knew.

I’m lying on my back, feeling my blood draining out of me, pouring onto this muddy ground like the rain is pouring onto my blemish face. I should feel cold, the life leaving me, I should feel scared, the end approaching but I just can feel the burn of the rain and of you treason.

There’s a side to you that I never knew, never knew.

Never being alone doesn’t mean you don’t feel lonely sometimes. I’ve always thought no one would understand how hard it is to stand proud and strong when your knees feel weak, when your back feel so heavy crushing under the responsibilities. No complain can escape your lips, no cry can escape your heart. Though, you always saw when I was bending, you always heard when I was breaking. Your hand was enough to make me stand tall, your smile enough to make me go on.

There’s a side to you that I never knew, never knew.

You have always been my best friend even if I never dared to tell you. You’ve been my ally, my anchor, always be together. I didn’t need the warmth of your body when I could feel the warmth of your smile. You, watching me proudly, smiling at me, this was enough to make me feel fitted.

There’s a side to you that I never knew, never knew.

I had an old advisor, a sorcerer, the very same who I thought killed my father. It may not have been him; still it was the same magic that did it. I lost everything, everyone dear to me because of magic. But I wouldn’t have been a just king punishing all the users of magic, there is good in everyone, there is something to save in everybody, I still think that about Morgana, I still think that about Mordred.  
I didn’t like the magic in itself but I’d put my life in my counselor’s hands and I did.

There’s a side to you that I never knew, never knew.

I’m lying on my back. The blood is still pouring out of my wound and it hurts so much, like a burning blade on my skin. I can feel the gentle caress of the sun in my hair trying to ease the pain away. When I open my eyes, I’m still so sleepy. You’re still reading that damn book of magic of yours.  
“God back to sleep, Arthur, it isn’t time yet”, you whispers to me like every time I had opened my eyes those last centuries, I just can’t remember it.  
I try to smile to you but I can’t. I wish I could talk. I wish I could tell you that there’s a side to you that I never knew, never knew. A side that I saw clearly for the very first time that day, on the battlefield, your eyes shining gold filled with tears cold when you’re calling my name under the fire of the rain.  
I wish I could tell you, my feelings are the same but I feel so tired, it feels so good to be asleep, to not feel the pain, to dream of another time, of you.

But I set fire to the rain,  
Watched it pour as I touched your face,  
well, it burned while I cried,  
Cause I heard it screaming out your name, your name!

But I was the one screaming, crying your name.  
My lounges emptying themselves, no magic enough to breath, no breathe enough to live through it.  
Merlin closes his book looking at the apple blossoms.  
« It isn’t time yet », he whispers to his sleeping prince, gently caressing his cold forehead, « But this time will come, I’ll make it come for you. Even if the world has to crush, let it burn!» 


End file.
